Screen Shot 2015-04-30 at 4.30.44 PMYesterday, the New York Times published this garbage fire of an op-ed by businessman Nick Loeb about how he wants to “protect” the two frozen embryos he created with his ex-fiancée, who happens to be famous person Sofía Vergara.

He says that in 2013, the couple agreed to try to use a combination of in vitro and surrogacy to have children. The couple signed a form “stating that any embryos created through the process could be brought to term only with both parties’ consent.”

The couple is no longer together; Vergara has said she wants the embryos to remain frozen. Loeb wants to go ahead with surrogacy against Vergara’s wishes. He’s asking to have the legal documents they signed overturned.

So, the NYT thought it would be awesome to give this man a high-profile platform to tell his manipulative sob story. He writes about how he is a child of divorce who has always longed to be a parent. He writes about a girlfriend he had in his 20s who had an abortion, “and the decision was entirely out of my hands. Ever since, I have dreamed about a boy at the age he would be now.” OH STOP.

That’s not even the worst part! This is the worst part:

Many have asked me: Why not just move on and have a family of your own? I have every intention of doing so. But that doesn’t mean I should let the two lives I have already created be destroyed or sit in a freezer until the end of time.

OH, OK. So, it’s pretty clear this isn’t about the two “lives” HE created. (Catch that?)

This is just about him.

What he’s doing has a name and it’s called reproductive coercion. Which is a form of domestic violence. It is not a “public plea,” media. What he’s doing is gross. He’s acting like he’s some sort of victim and he’s villainizing his ex-partner in the process. He talks about wanting to keep this matter private, but was basically left with no choice but to WRITE AN OP-ED FOR THE GODDAMN NYT.

Also, if he wanted to have children so badly — and if that was truly a deal-breaker for him — maybe he should have broken it off with Vergara earlier? Maybe it should have been a red flag that he had to start “pushing” — his word — for children? He writes, “But as we began to discuss other potential surrogates, it became clear once more that parenthood was much less urgent for her than it was for me. We had been together for over four years. As I was coming on 40, I gave her an ultimatum. When she refused, we split up.”

But, you know. He’s not, like, an asshole or anything. THIS IS ABOUT “SAVING LIVES.” THIS IS ABOUT BEING “PRO-PARENT.”

Here’s another gem from the op-ed:

Does one person’s desire to avoid biological parenthood (free of any legal obligations) outweigh another’s religious beliefs in the sanctity of life and desire to be a parent?

IDK, does Nick Loeb’s desire to be a parent outweigh THE FUCKING LEGAL DOCUMENT HE SIGNED?

This isn’t, AT ALL, about the “sanctity of life.” Please. This is 100% about one man’s refusal to let his ex-partner move on with her life.

Image: screen shot from a celeb YouTube channel because we are too broke for Getty.