Are you thinking about telling that woman over there to smile? DON’T.

Are you attempting to hug/kiss/grab/grope/otherwise touch a stranger on the street without their permission? STOP.

Do you believe that commenting on someone’s looks makes you appear less threatening? IT DOESN’T.

Do you believe that women care about what you have to say about how they look? THEY DON’T.

Do you believe yelling “nice ass/tits/legs/etc.” is a compliment? IT’S NOT.

Do you think women owe you something for holding open a door/committing other acts of garden-variety decency? THEY DON’T.

Do you believe yelling from a car is an effective means by which to engage with women? IT’S NOT.

Are you thinking of asking a random woman on the street on a Wednesday evening if your friend can “get a kiss”*? GET NEW FRIENDS.

Are you considering crashing that bachelorette party? STOP.

Oh, I see you’re disregarding me (QUELLE SURPRISE). In that case, are you planning to “charm” the women in attendance by aggressively insulting them by telling them how much their party sucks*?  GO AWAY.

Are you thinking about commenting on this post with “not all men are like this! I’m not like this!” CONGRATULATIONS BUT I ATE ALL THE COOKIES.





*Recent things that have happened because people are terrible and should never go out.

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